Men, your wife (or mother) just tried to get into the house with the car keys, or left the oven on, or is yelling at you about…who knows? She’s never like this; what’s all that about?
What is Menopause and How Does it Affect Men?
Menopause can be hard to deal with for the one experiencing it, and even harder for those watching. You may feel that you have to tread on thin ice, or wonder what to do about that forgetfulness, which can even be alarming, especially if you have an older relative going through some form of dementia.
Women who hit perimenopause, (usually sometime between the mid-forties and early fifties, but it can be earlier or later), experience hormonal fluctuations. The same symptoms can occur if they’ve had their uterus and/or ovaries removed. A lot of people talk about hot flashes, irregular periods, and night sweats. From the outside, though, you’re more likely to notice moodiness, forgetfulness, changes in sex drive (in either direction!), weight gain, and more visits to the bathroom. Oh, and sleep problems. She’s tossing and turning or throwing the covers onto you, or you both have to get up to change the sheets. Stress levels go up, and the schedule she’s been dealing with for years suddenly becomes overwhelming.
All of this can be hard to fathom, and none of it can be completely fixed. The need to stop more often on road trips or even go back for the vital thing that was forgotten can be frustrating. In fact, it’s not uncommon for both partners to get so stressed that the rate of divorce goes up for women “of a certain age.” Some women also have problems at work (the chance of being fired during menopause also goes up).
Tips Men Can Use While a Woman is Going Through Menopause
What Can the Men in a Woman’s Life Do?
- Be patient. Do you remember puberty? Hormonal changes during menopause are just as bad! Her moods are her hormones, not the real her, and not you, so try not to take them personally.
- Talk about your sex life. Some women completely lose interest in sex during menopause, although it tends to come back afterward (sometimes with a vengeance). Women can also experience dryness down there that can make sex uncomfortable. If so, suggest a vaginal estrogen cream or lube. Think about alternatives to “missionary” sex and be flexible. Don’t pressure her if she doesn’t feel up to it. If all else fails, talk to a sex therapist. Same goes if, after menopause is over, she’s suddenly the one pressuring you. It happens!
- Help her self-esteem. Women often experience a loss of self-esteem during menopause. If she’s having particular problems, how about a date night? A funny movie, either in the theatre or at home?
- Look at the sleep issues. Some couples do find it best to sleep in separate beds during menopause. If you snore, get a sleep study done.
- If all else fails, you can consult a couples counselor. This doesn’t mean your marriage is falling apart, just that you need a little bit of help dealing with the issues. If it’s got to the point where you’re afraid to talk because it always turns into a fight.
Ladies, Talk to the Men in Your Life!
For women, if the guy in your life is having problems dealing with your issues, then how about showing them this article? Talk to them honestly about how tricky menopause is to understand when it’s happening to you, let alone when you have to watch from the outside. Making light of your problems can help him, and you, realize that it’s not a big deal. For men, menopause is just something women have to deal with. It might seem like the gift that keeps on giving, but it does end, and once it is over you can both move on to the next stage in your life together.
Contact Us Now
If you are driving your partner crazy, then you might want to consider Dr. Allie’s Joyful, Sexy Menopause System, with or without bio-identical hormone treatment. Contact Doctor Allie’s Vitality Clinics for more information.